Thursday, October 31, 2019

Goo Goo Muck

I love Halloween.

This morning on my way to work I made up a Halloween play list in my head and then was going to make a Spotify list, but got busy...

Here it is-

Human Fly- The Cramps
Love Will Tear Us Apart- Joy Division
Hamburger Lady- Psychic TV
Lucretia, My Reflection- Sisters of Mercy
She's in Parties- Bauhaus
Beauty of Poison- Specimen
Cities in Dust- Siouxsie and Banshees
Church of No Return- Christian Death
So What- Ministry
Evil- 45 Grave
Eloise- The Damned
Burn the Flames- Roky Erikson
Boneshaker Baby- Alien Sex Fiend
Mauritia Mayer- Sex Gang Children
A Forest- The Cure


I would accept

Goo Goo Muck or New Kind of Drug for Human Fly.

Bela Lugosi or Third Uncle for She's in Parties.

Spellbound or Belladonna for Cities in Dust.

Any song on Only a Theatre of Pain for Church of No Return.

Walk with a Zombie instead of Burn the Flames.

And dealer's choice for another Cure song.

Here is a picture of Charlie, my skeleton. They are getting into the spirit of Halloween.


Wednesday, October 9, 2019

To resist despair cause you can't change everything- to resist despair in this world- Is what it is, what it is, what it is to be FREE

There are two things that distract me from the crazy/depressing/appalling day-to-day- television shows and KALX:

Specifically the new 90210 and Jesse Luscious' show Thursdays from 6-9am.
Both of these things have come to an end.

Jesse after a gazillion years on KALX is moving away and the new 90210 season is over.
What am I to do?

I think the reason I like both of these things has to with the feeling of nostalgia.

Some younger folks I know scoff at nostalgia and that is fine, they are young and don't have enough experience to understand that there is appeal to nostalgia. Well, there is appeal for me. I am a heady person who keeps journals and creates personal soundtracks in my head for life events.
I don't want to go on an all 1980s cruise and even though my hair style has remained fairly constant for many, many, many years I do freshen it up. I attempt a vintage vibe, but most of my clothes are new. Also, I don't loooonnnng for the "old days," I do appreciate them and try to live life with no regrets.
 Visiting my past occasionally  feels like catching  up with an old friend. Music has always been "my thing," so most of the time I visit through music.

Jesse Luscious' radio show gave me bursts of nostalgia almost every week. I use the term bursts, because it was typically punk rock tunes that clock in around 2:25.
Driving to work he would play a tune from Adolescents, Op Ivy, JChurch, Buzzcocks, and I really could list a thousand other bands, and for those few moments the song would remind me of a place or person or feeling of something from my past. Great way to start the morning.

90210 is a little different. Wednesdays at 8pm were an event at our house. Ridiculous things happened to these West Bev students and I loved every minute of it. Seeing them older and in some cases super botox'd was super fun and for 47 minutes I could not think about the gross, crazy world we live in. Their self- absorbed heavily makeup selves were a breath of fresh air.

I know. I know. I should watch "Game of Thrones," but Jason Priestly isn't in it!!

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Now I've got a love so deep in the pit of my heart, and each day it grows more and more...

I understand the Big Chill now.

For the past 5 years me and my crew of friends have spent Labor Day weekend at a cabin. Well, one time it was a ranch by the beach another time it was a house in Fremont, but you get the idea.
This year almost didn't happen because the place I rented was sold a month before the trip. I was ready to bag the whole thing, but one of the group stepped in a found a rad place that we will probably go to next year.

When these trips first started it was because I lived far away from all of these people and it was an opportunity to hang out uninterrupted. We moved back to the bay area and since I liked the getaway, I wanted to start a tradition. It seemed like people wanted to go, but until this trip happened I really didn't know that they enjoyed the trips as much as I did. They are a lot of work to plan and it was nice to find out that the group liked going.

Since these trips started there has been cancer, a hit and run,  a divorce, a new coupling, job changes, and all kinds of other stuff. One of the cabin goers told me that she made it a point to be in the now. Put all the life stuff away and enjoy what is happening at the moment. Wise person.


The first trip was not very fun for my kid, she was 3 and didn't like being out of her element (or dogs, which there were 3, or the beach, which I made her go to), this year she was a rock star of independence. She tried the zip line, swam in the lake, slept by herself, and only had two melt downs.
Both from being tired and probably hungry.
Thinking about the kid, I really like that she gets to spend time with my friend's kids. I enjoy watching them experience things together. Their comfort level of bossing around some of the childless adults is amusing to us parents and it is nice to see them decompress from their day-to-day just like we do and enjoy our cabin trips.

I tell my kid that the people who go to the cabin with us are our inside family. Meaning they know my thoughts and feelings and history. Of the group, my husband has known me the least amount of time and I have known him for 22 years.

There isn't any cocaine use, people lending out their spouse to get someone pregnant, and we don't have a TV star among us. But the idea that these people have a history and we (the viewer) are capturing a few pages in their lives where they are all together is what I like about it and how I relate it to our yearly cabin trip.



Sunday, June 30, 2019

Always searching for paradise, I'll admit that I'm good as blind. Darling, I confess... yes I've ruined three lives. And didn't care till I found out that one of them was mine, I confess...

Guitar players irritate me.
They don't listen during practice. Have fragile egos. Always turned up way too loud. And often take offense when you make suggestions.
Don't get me wrong, they are necessary and often do really cool things.
Lately, I have been writing on a guitar (not bass or piano) and I have been listening to not-so-obvious guitar players for inspiration.
As a songwriter, I usually think about the song from a couple of avenues depending on what comes first.
If the lyrics come first, I make conscious decisions on how my vocal parts will go with the bass line I have written...since I am not the one making up the guitar parts, I am aware that the guitarist might create a soundscape with no regard to how I am singing, so I usually have an alternate plan just in case.
Personally, I like it when a bass line comes first. I find it much easier to put words to it when I already know what I will be playing. Also I have a more solid foundation when bringing it to the other players.
It has been years since I was in a band where I shared song writing duties. I have been missing writing songs lately, so I have been looking back to some of my song sketches. I have quite a few that I feel could be something.

I have been listening to guitarists for inspiration.
Here is the list---

Richard Barone
Mitch Easter
PJ Harvey
Peggy Jones
John McGeoch
Wendy Melvion
Sara Jane Owen
Marco Pirroni

Yes.  A little all over the map. Some I listen to for technique (Mitch Easter, Peggy Jones, John McGeoch), some for guitar part structure (Wendy Melvion, Marco Pirroni, PJ Harvey), and some for guitar sound (all of them).

Since I am not a very good guitar player, I think that tone is something I can play with as well.
I loooove the jingle- jangle- wangle of 1980s guitar.
My confidence with pedals is negligible at best, so if I decide to record myself playing guitar, I will play with the tone in post.
I know. Sorry about that.

Yes. Guitar players irritate me, but they do create rocka riffs, tonal waterfalls, and they are pretty cool.
I guess.
I married one.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXP1j6Qf1T0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-6m18D84M4


Thursday, April 25, 2019

Cause you can't. You won't and you don't ---Stop!

Books.
I don't love them because I am a librarian. Nor did I become a librarian because I love books.

This blog post is about books- BTW.

I want to like adult fiction, but I find that when I read fiction it is teen/YA fiction. Last year while I was working at the public library I stated in a grand gesture at the reference desk that I was going to read all the "classics" in the summer.
There is a teen classics section where many of the books that are required reading for the high school across the street live. Over the summer I walked up the stairs to the teen area 100 times to show someone where "Catcher in the Rye," "Treasure Island," "The Iliad," "Diary of Anne Frank,"
 and so on and so were located.
My grand gesture lasted 2 books- "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "Count of Monte Cristo."

I prefer non-fiction. Especially about (or by) musicians/music,writers, you know- artist types.

The Beastie Boys book was a great read. It took me awhile to read it because there are more than the Mike D and ADROCK's voices, having guest authors contribute to the narrative.  It is a  (mostly) linear history of the band- how they met, musical influence, stupid stuff they did, the complex relationship they had with Def Jam and some reflection into their young lives by their 50 year old selves. There are some embellishments intentional or not in their recounts, but it doesn't matter because the book seems to be coming from an honest place. The Beastie Boys were never one of my favorite bands, but I always liked their records and saw them live.
During the time I was reading the book (590 pages), when I came to a specific record in the book , I would only listen to that one. It made for a nice soundtrack and re-familiarized myself with their amazing discography.
MCA was always my favorite and I think the book is a love letter, eulogy, and ode to their lost brother.

Another book that I read recently  and I think I liked was "Night Moves," by Jessica Hopper. I am a fan of her writing typically. A handful of years ago an anthology of her writings was published called " The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic,"which I very much enjoyed.  
It kind of reminded me of Chuck Klosterman mixed in with some Sara Marcus. 
"Night Moves," is different. The excerpts are more journal entries cleaned up to be vignettes. It is about her time in the mid-2000s in Chicago. I enjoyed the book and it is a super quick read at 184 pages. But whereas I connected to the material in the collected work, I found that her experiences, though entertaining kind of missed the mark for me.

The book that I finished yesterday was excellent. Michelle Tea has once again created a raw, unapologetic look into her life and psyche with "Against Memoir." It seems like I have known about Michelle Tea since forever. A founding member of Sister Spit, a roving literary group of folks who speak from the heart and can take and throw a punch. Literally for some, metaphorically for others. They have been together (on and off) since 1994 and I think the first time I came across them was at Club Junk or maybe it was the Albion or Dalva, the nineties were at times blurry, ANYWAY I remember being in awe of their (for lack of a better word) realness. I saw them on and off while living in SF and then again when Sister Spit 2.0 happened in the late 2000s. Michelle was always one of my favorites to hear and once I started to read her books, they did not disappoint. 
To state that reading her books are fun and are enjoyable, meh--- I don't think is what I mean. Her books make think and feel. She is not afraid to share her mistakes to anyone who wants know. Though some might think she is throwing up herself all over the page, I think there are parts of her life that she doesn't share and I appreciate the way she curates herself in her writing. The snapshots are also puzzle pieces. "Against Memoir" is a great anthology of her work and like the Beastie Boys and Hopper books the look back into their younger selves is honest, forgiving (not without apology), and real. 

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Shut up. And dance with me.

My friend told me about a podcast called "Switched on Pop."
It is a musician and musicologist who talk about pop music.
I have only listened to a few episodes (my friend told me to start from the beginning, I didn't), one of them being their 100th episode.
So many things about it I love-
Bias when discussing non-Eurocentric musics
Adorno
Musicality of phrasing
How pop music is filled with key salad- many forms of music the pay off is getting back to the tonic or home key of the piece, movement, whatever- popular music doesn't necessarily do that. Often it is about wandering around key signatures, the rhythms, lyrics, and stuff like that...
I have found that I have to take breaks in listening to it. I can't "binge" listen. Since I pretty much only listen to podcasts when I am at the gym I guess it wouldn't be a binge, but rather after I listen to a "Switched on Pop," my next podcast is a Marc Maron or something else.
BTW- I could write a whole blog post about my thoughts and complicated relationship I have with Marc Maron and his podcast, but I am not ready.

Though I don't think that I want to do a total music oriented podcast, a few weeks ago the podcast that I am on (yes, it is true) did a segment on Weezer.
Unfortunately, I cannot direct you to the podcast yet because they are not available.
Here is the link to the website. Todd made some nice drawerings of us.

https://www.emergencytoddcast.com/

Anyway, Weezer. What is their deal?
Many people (including the people on the podcast) have an opinion of them for sure.

Joey, one of the participants, told me about the SNL skit about Weezer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab5WvwfLuLM

It is pretty good and completely validated me and the podcast we did.
Speaking of Joey, here is a link to something he did that I find hilarious.

https://conealoneworld.com/

I am cone alone.


Thursday, March 14, 2019

Dahnanana. Dahnanana. Clap. Clap.

Luke Perry.
Wow.

I am a forever fan of 90210 (Donna Martin graduates!). Though I have been and will always be team Brandon, I did watch most programs and movies that the original cast of BH 90210 were in.
Yes, I saw 8 Seconds, Calendar Girl, A Friend to Die For, Charmed, all of Jennie Garth's Hallmark/Lifetime movies, Sharknado,  and that show with David Silve- I mean Brian Austin Green.
I even caught some episodes of Gabrielle's talk show in the 1990s. 

I watched (pretty much) the entire series when it was on. Yes, maybe not all of the final two seasons, I wasn't a fan of Noah. To me it was the kind of show one could dim your inner lights and watch without a whole lot of thinking. 
When I was in grad school the SOAP network showed the entire series in order. It was glorious. I watched from the first episode all the way to the final. My husband was lucky enough to take the journey with me.  Then once my daughter was born I did an abridged version of it. 4am feedings were as good a time as any to catch an episode of my friends of West Bev High, or maybe when they were students of  California University, or when they were owners of the Beverly Beat and Now Wear This. 

Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Donna, Dylan, David, Andrea, and Steve's lives were my constant for a decade and when I revisited the gang almost ten years later they still delivered.

I hadn't been in grad school all that long and I was having some troubles. It was really intense and I found out that I wasn't the only one who cried because of the pressure. Anyway, I came home after class one afternoon and saw that the SOAP network was showing the very first episode of BH 90210. I was so thrilled that I sat on the edge of the couch with my bag still over my shoulder and watched it. The show relaxed me and provided me a comfort that I can't really explain. When my daughter was born I watched many episodes again. 

Since Luke Perry's death I have watched a few episodes,  first season is on a streaming service I subscribe to...I think though that I want to watch the more recent Luke Perry. I think I will check out Riverdale.

RIP Luke. You had the best forehead in the biz.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult

I don't want to sound complain-y, but working three jobs is kind of tough sometimes.
It is no secret that I am the more capable worker and at times can be a bit of perfectionist- these wonderful personality traits can prove to be a little more at odds with my psyche because I don't have a desk that I can call my own at two of my positions. I tend to be "at the desk" for most of my shifts and even at the more steady eddy position, yes I have a desk, but it will probably be temporary and there is a bunch of stuff that isn't mine there anyway. I think the point I am trying to make is that I feel like I don't have a home (at work).
Now the flip side to this is that I totally like all the places I am working and if any of them were to offer me a full-time gig, I would take it.

I wrote this in 2018.
It is now 2019 and things have changed. I am starting a full time position at none of the three places mentioned above...

I will have an office and a desk!

The past 10 months have been a wild ride. 4-6 days a week working all over the Bay Area.
There was a stint last year where I worked 15 days in a row. I kind of went crazy a few times, but having a weekday off was nice, having to work Sundays was not nice.

This new job feels right for me. I was looking for a work home and I think I found it.
I think I have realized that I want to be a creative academic librarian and not an academic public librarian.

Onward...