You know Dasher and Dancer...

I love Christmas. The gift exchange is okay, but I like the traditions that me and the husband are going to create for our daughter. We are going to make Christmas/Hanukkah rad for our little baby. I have decided to collect little trees and so the little lady decorate them anyway she wants. Our buddy S gave us her first decoration so maybe I can have a tree with ornaments that were given to her.
Christmas music has been playing non-stop too! I love the corny ones, religious ones, soulful ones, straight up crappy ones (Christmas Shoes), and even Billy Idol's holiday record.
Last week I started my new job as a library coordinator. One step closer to being a librarian. I only have five classes left! Jeeez! If I start talking about PhD programs, please stop me!

Dancing Queen

I bought these shoes about a week ago. It had been YEARS since I bought me some fancy shoes, they are from Remix Shoes in Los Angeles. They have a website www.remixvintageshoes.com, and let me tell you these handmade babies from Spain are pretty darn comfortable. I consider them my new dancing shoes. Speaking of dancing…

Picking out a playlist for your baby is not something to be taken lightly. Being a music enthusiast only makes it harder. The past two weeks I have been testing out some material during our dance time. Yes, me and little M dance every day.

So far M likes…

Public Enemy Can’t Truss It

Crowded House Weather with You

The Knitters Poor Little Critter on the Road

Stevie Wonder Superstition

Vampire Weekend A-Punk

Eddie Rabbit I Love a Rainy Night

And the best of Squeeze.

Some duds…

Best of Style Council

Bad Company Bad Company

ELO I’m Alive

Maria Muldaur Midnight at the Oasis

The husband thinks she is too young to be listening to the adult contemporary tunes of Crowded House, but when it is time to wind down the dancing they are a good band. I swear!

Rabbit Fur Coat

My lil' daughter has great taste in music so far...I dance with her when she starts her fuss-fuss and so far she likes Squeeze, Crowded House, Jenny Lewis, The Knitters, John Doe, and The Old 97s. Also, Catpower seems to sooth her. Maybe she is getting depressed. I better skip over Nick Drake.
Anywho!
I am still not a fan of breastfeeding, it is getting better and I am sure I will have fond memories of it twenty years from now.
Last week lil' M forgot how to latch. I mean she had been doing it for a month and all of a sudden it was like Memento or something. Four weeks after I got my driver's license I didn't try to start the car from the backseat or put gasoline in the trunk. Yes, she is only four weeks old, but c'mon!
We have also introduced the bottle. She does not mind it and the thought that I don't have to wear her like a necklace is also a lot less stress for me.
When I called around to some lactation consultants to ask a few questions about pumping, bottle introduction, good formulas, etc I was surprised that of the 4 calls I made only one called me back. Since I don't use names I will refer to the one who called back as "Whore."
Whore made me feel so bad about myself right out the gate. And when I asked about having formula around in case I did not have any pumped milk, or for whatever reason (damn, it ain't none of her concern anyway) she made me feel like a HORRIBLE mother and person in general.
Fighting back tears I thanked her (I think she might have caught on that I was upset) and then stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Me and lil' M had actually a great time lounging on the bed and watching programs I had seen a million times (hello, American President). We also watched another Annette Bening joint The Kids Are Alright. I thought it was a pile of garbage, but other people like it.
I don't mean to speak ill of the profession of lactation consultants, but of the handful I have come in contact with really don't do a whole lot of consulting. There is a lot of judging and criticizing but not much else.
I start an internship tomorrow and I am super excited, but I will miss the lil' one. It will be the longest I have been away from her- four hours.

A Year in the Wilderness

I find comfort in John Doe songs. I love X, The Knitters, Auntie Christ, Exene solo and all the other side projects. But something about his solo stuff is a melancholic and a sincere reflection of a mood in which I feel very at home.
I relate to him ( I know, I know) because of his subtle California pride, which comes out in some of his light homage to the Golden State.
This was not what I was going to write about however...
Things that were not told to me about postpartum. I guess I thought you had a baby and that was it. Your body went back to normal and there you go. Uh, no.
I ended up having a C-section, but the pad and underwear you have to wear is necessary and it lasts for more than a day or two.
Contractions can last for awhile because your uterus has to go back and they can also hurt.
Stretch marks hurt and itch like a mutha.
There is apparently a rash that women can get called PUPPS that I have the pleasure of having on my legs, thighs, ass, and arms. It itches something fierce and I cannot take benedryl because I am breastfeeding. PUPPS can take up to 5 months to go away (thanks, Internet) and I am really trying to not go to the doctor. Epsom salts help and so does the magic stuff from Whole Foods.
On that note, the good nipple cream from Whole Foods stains your clothes. It works really well, though.

I love my daughter she is perfect and I would do it all over again for her.

But one and done!

Joy to the World!

I am a mother.
Weird.
Good, but weird.
She is amazing, I am totally in love with her. B is absolutely smitten with her as well and he has become quite the shitty diaper changer. I am recovering quite quickly and I am looking forward to letting her (and me) out of the house. She is still too little for big time outings, but today or tomorrow I want to take her out for a stroll.
In just two weeks I have found that it is okay to slow down and take life in. I like being busy don't get me wrong, however sitting on the bed and watching her sleep is just as satisfying.
The post I was going to write was about things they don't tell you about when you have a baby. I will save it for another time.

Wonderwall

Only days to go...
There are weird things that happen to you when you are pregnant.
My hands get hot and splotchy as do my feet. It is like I am only a half mutant. This is a X-Men reference in case you didn't know. These hot flashes also usually include my ankles swelling to resemble pig hooves.
Also, I only sleep in 3 hour increments , which will be great for feedings, but Robot is still in my belly!

Love Removal Machine

Ok. So today I went in for my weekly NST exams (stress test for the baby) and the substitute nurse hooked me up to the machine and walked away. About ten minutes later she came back and said very casually, "Oh, you are having contractions two minutes apart. Do you feel them?" I said I did not and she told me she was going to have a doctor check me after my test was done.
Now, I am ready to not be pregnant, but I just got home from a good friend's wedding and I was so hoping for a nap when I got home that I was hoping it was a false alarm.
I finished my test and waited and waited. Another nurse came in told me to take off my pants and a doctor would check me.
A doctor came in and asked the nurse who he needed to be seen and she said that I might be in labor, the woman next to me had little baby movement, and the one across from me was overdue. The doctor said in a not inside voice that he was almost done with his shift and decided to check the women with not much baby movement, because it was probably nothing. Awesome.
Then a midwife came in and asked who was having contractions and the nurse said, "the old patient," and the midwife went in with the women next to me. The woman said in kind of yelling voice, "It is not me!" Poor midwife kind of mumbled that she thought that the nurse pointed to her bed and shuffled into my curtained area.
She said hello and told me she had to check my cervix. I am learning that you need to check your modesty at the door when you are pregnant, but... Did she have to check me with the curtain open? Could the nurses have waited a minute before coming and asking her questions? And did the doctor who did not want to do anything have to have a goodbye conversation with the midwife while she was checking my cervix?

The final countdown...

It is only a matter of weeks, or even days before me and the husband step into parenthood. It is exciting and terrifying, but I think we are both ready.
Though I have not been a super fan of the "beauty" of pregnancy, I have to say some of it has been kind of amazing like the kicking (not in the bladder), and how great my hair looks.
We still don't know if it is a girl or a boy AND we still don't really have a boys name picked out. There is a list of names we like, but who knows what will happen when we finally meet the lil' one.

I have only been on maternity leave for a week and a half, but it seems like I haven't worked in forever. We are pretty busy too. I thought I would be able to sit around and read or do projects. Huh, who knew?
My prediction is that I will become a mom on July 19, but we shall see what happens...

Good Golly Miss Molly!

I just noticed that I have not posted anything since we got Versula. That's right, Versula is the name of our car. At least that is what I call it.
We are all about names these days. With the little one arriving July-ish, we are constantly talking about names. It seems fair that it is really difficult to name something that you have created from scratch.
I have never had that hard of a time with naming my animals though.